Friday, November 19, 2010

Why Gin Causes Impotence

"Max Au Couvent" (1914) By Max Linder


Mademoiselle Lydie is madly in love with Monsieur Max, Both Are Youngsters and handsome and as a pair That live According To the time. They use the new technologies (carrier pigeons) in order to Be in touch and in this way Be punctual at Their rendezvous. But

Such a happy couple of lovers will Suffer a misfortune when to Mlle. Lydie's father Discovers the lovers kissing passionately outdoors. So due to the fact that Lydie’s fathers is a man with a strict convictions of the last century, that is to say, the XIX century …, he decides that his daughter must go to a convent in order to prevent such scandalous behaviour.

Before entering the convent, Mlle. Lydie secretly hides in her bag her modern cell apparatus, that is to say, the carrier pigeon. In this way she will later send a short text message to her lover telling him the terrible news of her religious imprisonment.
The moment that an amazed Monsieur Max receives the air mail message, he decides, with the help of an accomplice chauffeur, to go in the rescue of his lover.

In order to enter the convent, Monsieur Max’s chauffeur asks for help from the nuns by telling them that his master is feeling slightly ill. After some reluctance, the nuns decide to allow the entrance of the man into the convent in the cold light of day ( usually men only enter the convents under the cover of darkness ). Once Monsieur Max is inside, pretty soon he will try to rescue his lover.

But our hero goes to the wrong chamber to find Mlle. Lydie; so a terrible fuss begins which in turn causes a commotion in the peaceful convent. Consequently a thrilling chase after Monsieur Max up and down the convent ensues with nuns on the run and the fraulein inmates in convent nightdress too ( ah, what a wonderful sight for the eyes of this disrespectful German count!... ).

During the commotion, Monsieur Max will be able to scheme a new plan via ordering his chauffeur to impersonate him as the mysterious convent intruder. He thus kidnaps Mlle. Lydie by taking her out of the convent and flees with her by car. This is an excellent plan that allows Monsieur Max to become a hero in the eyes of the convent nuns and especially his father in law. He explains that he plans to save the poor child from the clutches of the mysterious convent intruder.

When Mlle. Lydie’s father is warned by phone and, MEIN GOTT!!... in “Polivision”!! ...about the terrible news, he goes quickly to the convent and, after an attempt to strangle Monsieur Max, they both decide to go to the rescue of Mlle. Lydie and so another thrilling chasing starts, this time by car.

During the chase they will find in the road a public square with a monument in the middle. So they decide to violate the traffic regulation found in every genuine silent comedy; that is to say, by circling the square twice, thrice and in fast motion.

When finally the accomplice chauffeur is reached, he tries to escape by foot carrying Mlle. Lydie in his wicked arms. But fortunately Monsieur Max, in what it is an admirable act of courage, shoots the kidnapper and that deadly fall liberates the object of captivity, that is to say, Mlle. Lydie.

Ah, at last Monsieur Max and Mademoiselle Lydie are reunited again and under the eyes and the blessing of the father in law! During such a touching scene, the accomplice chauffeur that is behind them playing dead, sits and laughs watching such a happy ending. Noticing this and in order that Herr Max isn’t discovered, he shoots him twice, thrice and even quadrice, and would blast the whole cartridge case if necessary ... everything for the sake of his love and happiness.

Ah, what a delightful short comedy is “Max Au Couvent” (1913) directed by Herr Max Linder!!... It’s an excellent and funny example of how finally pure love triumphs over any obstacle, no matter even if two important, terrible and influential institutions like family and church try to interfere with it.

And now, if you'll allow me, I must temporarily take my leave because this German Count Must leave the Priesthood.

Herr Graf Ferdinand Von

Galicia - / -

Mademoiselle Lydie is madly in love with Monsieur Max, both are young and attractive and live according to modern times they have lived, for that reason, like to use the newest age technologies, such as pigeons and so in this manner, keep in touch and can go point to dating.

But as happy couple is about to suffer a setback, right at the same time when both two are surprised by the father of Mlle. Lydie, kissing passionately in public, because the father Mlle. Lydie is a man of strict belief clung to the last century, that is, the nineteenth century, took the drastic step of placing her daughter in a convent and thus avoid such scandalous behavior.

Before entering the convent, Mlle. Lydie get secretly enter in your bag, modern long-distance communication system, that is, the pigeon, and can then send a short text message to their beloved air to communicate the terrible news of his detention religious.
At the same moment in which Monsieur Max receives air mail, decide devise a plan to rescue his beloved, with the help of his accomplice driver. To get into

in the convent, the driver of Monsieur Max enlists the help of the nuns who live there telling them that his boss has suddenly found unfit, by accepting the above, not without some reluctance at first, eventually to enter a convent full man daylight (usually men only come in convents at night and in a crouching) Monsieur Max once been inside the convent, without further delay, he rushes to rescue his beloved.

But our hero is the wrong room, getting into one in which there was Mlle. Lydie, but another resident of the institution, resulting in a terrible uproar in the convent and therefore a persecution in which Monsieur Max is chased by many young nuns as well as residents in the convent frauleins, wearing only a nightgown as they only clothes (ah, what a beautiful picture it for a whole irreverent aristocrat!.)
During
fuss, Monsieur Max gets devise a new plan, ordering his driver to make it happen for him, that is, as the mysterious intruder night the convent as well tell you now will have to kidnap Mlle. Lydie fleeing with her in his car, it all an excellent plan that will allow Monsieur Max become a hero in the eyes of the nuns of the convent and especially for his father, once told that it is he who finally gets to rescue the young victim from the clutches of the mysterious intruder from the convent.

When the father of Mlle. Lydie is warned of terrible news, MEIN GOTT !!!... Polivisión!,, Goes immediately to the convent in which, after an attempt on their part, to strangle with their bare hands to Monsieur Max, both two decide to go after the rescue of Mlle. Lydie, leading to another thrilling chase, this time by car.

During the car chase, the pursuers will find their way to a public square in which the center of it, has a monument, taking immediate the decision to follow the traffic rules that all genuine silent comedy should be noted, that is, surrounding the monument located in the plaza, two, three and four times in fast motion.

When we finally reached the driver's accomplice, he tries to escape with his dam being Mlle. Lydie in his arms, but fortunately Monsieur Max, what it is all a wonderful example of a great act of great heroism, fatally shoots the kidnapper who falls to the ground, releasing its prey, that is, to Mlle. Lydie.

Ah, finally back together and Mademoiselle Lydie Monsieur Max, under the watchful eye of his father and blessings!; For such a touching scene, the driver accomplice which has been behind the actors playing dead, sits up and laughs at the sight so beautiful happy ending, realizing as inappropriate situation, Herr Max, that not to expose his treacherous plan, shoots his accomplice driver, a , two, three, four times, the entire magazine revolver if necessary, everything is small if it means getting the love and happiness with his beloved.

Ah, but delightful comedy silent film "Max Au Convent" (1913) of Herr Max Linder! ... another excellent and entertaining example of how love finally triumphs over all things, no matter that even two important and influential institutions such terrible church and family, try to interfere with success.

And now, if I may, I have to leave because this count has to hang Germanic habits.

Herr Graf Ferdinand Von Galicia

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